As cheery as you see me, all it takes is a gentle push in the right direction; to move me into tears when I am sad or distressed. And when that happens, the wall I've built so high to shield me from the hurt and the pain, crumbles instantly. As fast as I had it constructed, it takes an even shorter time to break down my seemingly strong facade. And I succumb to the pain and I release my sorrows to that solitary gesture; from that one wonderful person, who dared venture close, despite my refusal to speak.
I did not ask for this sadness, nor do I deserve this heart-breaking sorrow. I am to accept that things happen; but I am not to blame. Fault lies in many places aside from where I stand alone. Circumstances will change; things will heal and so will my broken heart. I just need to believe that love is aplenty and there's some left for me. Instead of looking for it in places that are beyond my limits, I should focus on those who truly care.
I am not ready to forgive and I will never forget. But I am smiling again, which I think is sufficient for now. I will continue to dream and I'll not admit defeat; for that one special day when truth is revealed and love surrounds me again.
A very special thank you goes out to my darling B, my Virgo buddy DD and to Emila for believing in me. Your love and kindness have helped me believe things will be okay again one fine day. Thank you for giving me my space to dwell in my sorrow, thank you for understanding me the way I need you to right now and most importantly, thank you for not giving up on me. :)
Love always,
159 comments:
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Oh dear Marzie, this is such a sad post from you! I hope you will feel a lot better when you get up later. Have a good rest and sweet dream! :*
Sleep well, Genie Princess! :)
i believe that time cures all things and in good time, you will be your cheerful self again. :)
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Happy Thursday! 8-) :) :-D
Recent blog post: Wordless Wednesday - Turkish Carpets & Rugs
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
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I know you are getting all the support and love for whatever you are going through dearie.. but please know I'm always here for you too ya..
Hugs and love
LJ :* :*
Recent blog post: How I Got JS-Kit On My Today Blog *
Marzie!! I was not online last night; the migraine is coming back again.
I will always be there for you in good and bad times; me and DD will always love you, don't you forget that. And you are truly blessed to have B by your side.
:'( :)
The old cliche that things happen for a reason is still very much applicable at this situation. Healing may come slow, but the good thing is you're smiling again. May you feel much better each day. Take care!
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:'( :'( :'(Marzie!
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Its very hard to forgive and forget, however, we have to move on.Life is too precious to spend it crying. Thanks to people we love and those who love us for they lift us up when we're down...
and oh! blogging friends too...
keep smilin dearie! :-D :-D
Recent blog post: My Friend Is Going To The Big Apple
Sad to see a teary post from you when you are always cheery & jovial. You'll always have our support & a listening ear. *hugs*
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*Hugs*
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Cheer up! That's how life taste sometimes. ;)
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:'( :'( The hurt and pain helps us to be stronger and wiser. It might hurt like all hell, but we are lucky that our loved ones are there to hold and support us. Time will heal all wounds... we won't know how long, but have faith that it'll heal. Until then, know that we are here and care about you!
Recent blog post: Heart Over Mind
:* :* :*
hey dear...I hope your day is going great.. Mine was quite busy yesterday...
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I was not online yesterday; the whole day! :(
Recent blog post: February's Top Commenters & Top EC Droppers
but when I read all your comments @ my blog just now, it really put a smile on my face :) :* :*
Recent blog post: February's Top Commenters & Top EC Droppers
ok now lemme read your Thursday Tears
oh dear...I really feel the way you feel and you know what, I was abt to write something like THAT!!! mine is Wednesday Tears... a problem persists to a point where I become very distressed, out of control and confused...I talk through my feelings with R as well and it's true that being around a loved one is a great way to de-stress..seriously!
Recent blog post: February's Top Commenters & Top EC Droppers
and pls remember that we care about you and hate to see you in distress!
Recent blog post: February's Top Commenters & Top EC Droppers
hi! your blog is very interesting :)
moreover, i am new to this blogging. i like to you to visits my site in your free time ..and give suggestion to improve
if possible add me in your blog roll. i will return my favour!!
Heartbreak is the most difficult of all pains to get over. Sometimes you never get over it, but just try and carry it along with you. Getting through each day is difficult seemingly impossible, but you will get over it - Time is the essence. :)
:* :*
Recent blog post: Contemplating a New Makeover!
Thank you Debbs, but the ppl who I wan to turn to are the ones who are turning me away... Thank you for the hugs sweetie. :* :*
Recent blog post: Contemplating a New Makeover!
:* :*
Recent blog post: Contemplating a New Makeover!
oh first set of :* :* was for debbs, then for LJ. 8-)
Recent blog post: Contemplating a New Makeover!
It's a sad post cause I was very sad too last night, esp after talking to my fren, oh tears tears tears! Thank you for reading Debbs, love ya! :* :* :*
Recent blog post: Contemplating a New Makeover!
I tidur and didn wan to wake up until Phoebe woke me up. Thank god for my cats, keep me smiling furry frens! :* :*
Recent blog post: Contemplating a New Makeover!
I am banking on time now LR, thank you for reading. Love and hugs. :* :*
Recent blog post: MM - With or Without You by U2 *
Happy Thursday to you too! :*
Recent blog post: MM - With or Without You by U2 *
morning marzie!! where's my :* :* hahahaha tak malunyeeee!!!
it makes me sad that you were feeling so sad.. :( :( :(
Thank you LJ, malas nak cakap pasal ni cause I am a crybaby, cakap sikit mesti thursday tears come out...just like this post. Thank you for reading too sweetie, love ya. :* :*
Recent blog post: MM - With or Without You by U2 *
Tenkiu Emila, I was sms-ing with DD last night, tu yg terkeluar Thursday Tears ni! U know la DD, she pandai korek rahsia from me, so I meluahkan perasaan to her, then tears, and then later she gave me murtabak from Kelantan! I love you ladies, thank you for listening, thank you for having my back and thank you for understanding. Group hug ladies! :* :* :*
Recent blog post: MM - With or Without You by U2 *
oh and I hope ur migraine is better today emila, rest la don write so many posts! :* :*
Recent blog post: MM - With or Without You by U2 *
Hi Mira, thank you for reading and for ur kind words here. I wish to forget and am counting on time to help heal my sorrow. Thanks again! :* :*
Recent blog post: MM - These Dreams by Heart *
:* :* :* Twinks!
Recent blog post: MM - These Dreams by Heart *
Thank you Twinks, I will eventually forgive, but I will never forget. Even when things are okay again, I know I cannot forget. Love you and thanks for reading. :* :*
Recent blog post: MM - These Dreams by Heart *
Janice, thank you for ur email, thanks so much! It got me all teary again to have u shoot me an email to cheer me up, love you Jan! :* :* :*
Recent blog post: MM - With or Without You by U2 *
I need that hug Nessa, thanks so much. :* :*
Recent blog post: MM - With or Without You by U2 *
Thank you for reading Joy. Trying to keep my chin up, thanks! :* :*
Recent blog post: MM - With or Without You by U2 *
Thank you for reading Shemah and for ur kind words here. It's just hard when the one u wan to console you is the one who is making you cry. Love and hugs. :* :*
Recent blog post: MM - With or Without You by U2 *
:* :* :* Monica!
Recent blog post: MM - With or Without You by U2 *
Hi dear, I got up late and have 3 new jobs to keep me busy today! 8-)
Recent blog post: MM - With or Without You by U2 *
How come la not online yest Mon? Busy or sleeping? *DONT_KNOW* *DONT_KNOW* *DONT_KNOW*
Recent blog post: MM - With or Without You by U2 *
Oh great! Glad my comments made u smile Mon, i had fun at ur place yesterday. :-D :-D
Recent blog post: Contemplating a New Makeover!
Thank you for reading Mon, love ya! :* :*
Recent blog post: Contemplating a New Makeover!
Wah really Mon? U were having a Wednesday Tears moment too??? Oh u shld have written abt it too then, it does make u feel better to let it all out of your system. And thank you for understanding my feelings right now. Very hard to explain, u don wan to talk abt it cause it will just remind u of the sadness but when u do speak abt it to that person u trust and love, u just can't help crying! Thank you Mon and here's a very special hug for u, I hope ur tears will dry soon too. HUGS!!!! :* :*
Recent blog post: MM - With or Without You by U2 *
I will remember that Monica, thank you so much, I love you guys! :* :*
Recent blog post: MM - With or Without You by U2 *
Hola Myjoyz, thank you and welcome to Mariuca's blog! I'm happy to hear u enjoyed ur stay and I will return your visit as well, have a good one. :* :*
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Hey Slivatree, I agree with you. Sometimes u never get over it, the pain will eventually lessen but the memories will remain forever. Thanks so much for reading. :* :*
Recent blog post: MM - With or Without You by U2 *
Ohhhh ha ha of coz ada for u Shemah! And a hug too! :* :* :* :*
Heheh. kena explain gitu..lol!
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Yeay for Pheebs!!!
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Who dare turn you away GP? Meh sini I tumbuk for you..
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Aahhhh thanks sweetie, Virgos like me tend to be extra sensitive, so kalau hit the right spot je, for sure my tears will flow endlessly! Thanks Shemah, you are a wonderful friend. Hugs! :* :* :*
Recent blog post: MM - With or Without You by U2 *
It's the same with me too GP.. I even cry if I get too angry and cannot
express myself!! Are you like that as well?
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hahahaha.. thank you marzie.. hahaha memang i tak tau malu nak tagih :* :* and hugs! LOL!
Kissy kissy for your too Shemah!!! Heheheh..
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LOL it's okay LJ, that will just make my heart more "paining"! :*
Recent blog post: MM - With or Without You by U2 *
Of coz hafta explain, nanti u think I'm "smiling alone" here LOL! ;) :*
Recent blog post: MM - With or Without You by U2 *
:* :*
Recent blog post: MM - With or Without You by U2 *
MEOW MEOW! :* :*
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Of coz LJ! At first I was really angry abt my situasi but now I'm just sad! Hugs for u and me. :* :*
Recent blog post: MM - With or Without You by U2 *
Shemah, I pun tak tau malu mintak scoreboard from LJ, some more nak yg flicker2 and change2 name lagi ha ha haha!!!
;) ;) ;) ;) ;)
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congrats te debbs for being FC! ;) ;) ;) ;)
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*huggs* te marzie! :*
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:):) Gagay!
hahahaa... scoreboard?? what scoreboard?? ee... can kah if i tak tau malu and mintak also?? LOL!
Oh yeah almost forgot, congrats Debbs, I put ROTP here, hope that’s okay? Next one CnS lak, HC dah hari tu. :)
Thanks for the hugs Gagay, you’re very sweet. :)
Muahahhahahahhaha u oso wan scoreboard Shemah? Ha ha ahaha, LJ la yesterday asked me, eh takde scoreboard ke to keep track of my FC, cause now kan dah ada credit for all posts…so of coz I am enticed!!! We wan scoreboard, we wan scoreboard!!! ;)
ooohhh hahahahahahahaha.. i want scoreboard for marzie because i already got one point LJ!! hahaha.. can kah like that marzie?? haahahahaha..
Ha ha ha ha tu la of coz must have scoreboard! So far, u, Jean and LJ got one point mah at MPG! More star posts coming up coz got PB to do lol! I can’t wait la for scoreboard, but nemind LJ busy tu, mopping day for her! LJ, wan to mop my house or not? I just sapu today, then terus sneeze2 so couldn mop lol!
oh moppin day is it? J usually does the mopping because he says im not strong enough to wring all the water out! LOL! besides he is so particular about mopping.. he has to do it 3 layers skali mop. hahahah..
Aiyo then J shld come here and mop la! I hate mopping ni, even though can use the strainer to wring out the water, but still so tiring la!!!! Vacuuming oso I don laik how la like dis? I need a maid!!!
hahahaha.. can lah.. i vacuum for you and J do the mopping .. i love vacuuming. hahahaha.. ;) i also use the strainer but J still says i strain the water not good enough. very particular lah.. tensi!!
I think if I have to choose one house chore, it will be washing the dishes, that one I don mind. Vacuuming and sweeping triggers off my sinus prob achoo!!!! Sometimes hafta wear mask, and my kids will look at their Master funny LOL!
Oh no, then turn to me cuz I'd never turn you away, Marzie! Hugsy!!
Lol! Here's four for you, since you like the number 4, GP! :* :* :* :*
I was sad too, today. I didn't know what to do to uplift my spirits and motivate me, so I slept! I hope you're feeling a lot better ya. If not, you can always meluahkan perasaan to me in an email! :):)
Oh furry friends are awesome kan? I so want a kitten, but I'd be grateful if I can get anything to hug everyday!
Thanks Gagay! :)
What a lovely thing to say Debbs, bak tisu sat! ;) Hugsy! :)
Thanks Marzie! That's fine. :):):) ROTP pun boleh. :D
Awwww no cry cry nemore k? Hugs! But then, jahat la the person. If anyone come to me, takkan la wanna push her away. Lagi2 good friend. I miss
Debbie aka phatelara
Awwww no cry cry nemore k? Hugs! But then, jahat la the person. If anyone come to me, takkan la wanna push her away. Lagi2 good friend. I miss
Debbie aka phatelara
Oops...I said I miss my bestie lah! :(
I’m so touched u remembered my fave number is 4 Debbs! Another hug for Debbs! :)
Ah me too me too Debbs, that’s why purposely bangun extra late today ha ha! Phoebe la came over to my pillow, wake me up, so cute! :)
Oh why were u sad Debbs? Work stuff or blog stuff made u depresi? ;)
this is so sad. i wish i were there to lend you an ear or give you a hug. cheer up marzie... things always get better in the morning.
hugs for you,
bing (",)
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Awww...hugsy GP! :):):)
Phoebe is forever cute! Pandai lagi wake you up! :):):)
Hmmm life stuff, Marzie..tonight also like no mood to do any work. Feel like sleeping jer even though had enough sleep in the afternoon.
:'( :'(
yea, me too marzie... :'( :'(
Hi Marzie,
dropping by mid week just to see how you were doing and after reading through your article kinda got a bit worried but just to help you feel a little better here are some warm hugs and best wishes from manila for yah. xoxo
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group hugs!! :* :* :* :*
still having it but mildly...feel a bit nausea today...
hug hug oso.. :* :*
yea shemah!! i so agree with you! we're here marzie!! we're forever sisters!
big hugs today and always, marzie!!! don;t forget may!!! it's ali's bday!!! i am looking forward to meet you and dd! hope elinamsu can come with ryan and qarin!
*hugs* okay.. feeling better now! hehehehe
keep sisterhood alive!!! :) :)
Don't be sad...take care
Recent blog post: I'm Adventurous!
Thank you Bono, will keep my chin up! :)
:):):)
Alamak!
Why all crying lah!!
Come on cheer up ladies.. LJ is here.lol!
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Group hug!
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Forever Sisters
Ameen!!
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Hehe.. ok GP.. next time you wash my dishes.. I can vacuum the floor.. I
love to vacuum!!
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Thanks for all the group hugs here ladies! :)
Wah three layers.. amboi. mesti berkilat your floor shemah!
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Oh you love to vacuum too Shemah?!
High five!! Heheeh
Eh J can do my floor anytime!! Lol!
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Hahah.. scoreboard eh.. ok ok.. nanti I get rolling on that one.. tulah I
pun nak tengok my score gak..lol!
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We wan scoreboard.. we want scoreboard!
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Lol Shemah.. also coz I got one also !! hehehe
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Haha.. you also want Shemah.. for what ah?? Lol!
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Hugs dearie.!!!
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Vacuum makes me sneezy, me no likey! ;) I know la u like to vacuum Aggie lol!!
YAY for scoreboard!!! :):):)
I oso can’t wait to see my markah on ur scoreboard LJ! ;)
Hahah.. it's because she loves to be vacummed. Sometimes kan she asked for
it you know.. she would like just go into the path and golek2..lol..so cute!
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Actually kan this scoreboard would be more like table form.. ok ke?
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I am just excited to see my scoreboard LJ, table form or not! ;)
Heheh. Ok.. I just sent you another email.. with the new codes. hehhe.
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Ok checking them out now, ni for sidebar kan?
Yeap.. sidebar. so I didn't make to big lah..
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Ok cool, sent u an email dearie, thanks!
GP I love it.hehehhe
Eh you know you can remove the FCC scoreboard from the code and just use the
normal heading for the element. That way you can have the header bar mah!
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Mcm mana? Kejap lemme read ur comment again LOL!!!
YAY I removed oredi LJ and it looks awesome woo hoo! I have a scoreboard now ha ah ha, tenkiu dearie, now GP happy! HUGSY! :)
Macam mana apa GP??/ heheh
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Mcm mana apa ye? I oso terforgot!
Yeay..!!
Eh try changing that border bit to 1.. I sent you an email already..then the
border wont look too big kot
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Hahahah. lol!!.. entah!
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kilat shmilat lah my floors hahaha.. but if me, just kil only.. tak sampai kilat. LOL!
high Five vacuum sister!! LOL! J better start mopping services! LOL!
no lah i dun need scoreboard.. but saje je.. LOL!
:'( :'( :'( marzie honey, im sorry for being here late to console you! mari sini, i give you a BIG BIG HUGZ!!! {{{{{HUGZ}}}}} :* :* :* :*
Marzie, tho' i hv not meet you personally, but i can roughly tell what kind of person you are. You sincerity can be felt in your writing and you are a kind-hearted person. As far as i know, i've nvr met anyone who is like you. And I am just so glad God gave an opportunity for us to be friends and time for us to bloom our friendship. You are a gem to me & i will cherish this friendship forever! So hang in there, woman! You're surrounded by LOVE!!! :* :* :*
Awwwww...Jean, I terharu la reading what you said to Marzie. :( I miss my bestie!
Hola GP! Hope all is well with you! Sounds pretty nasty whatever it is you're going through...my ears are open! :) Alakazam
Hola GK! Thanks so much for comin over to cheer me up. I am taking it one day at a time, so we’ll see what happens. Still trying to keep myself busy so as to forget, thanks again. GENIE HUGZ! :):):)
Fuyoo.. my floor can never be kilat for long.. you lah the kids.. each got
four legs mah.. I got 6.. so you do the math.lol!
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Hehehe.. fun to see the numbers piling up.. a nice addition to the badge I
think..heheh
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Hahahah.. I'll hire him.. lol!!
High five vacuum sister! Lol!
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Hi Marzie, I'm sorry you had a sad time and I hope you are feeling better. Though I bhaven't experienced any depression in a year, I am tired and burned out from work. It's almost impossible to blog anymore, but I'm trying to hang in. Anyway, I'm apologize for not visiting you or anyone lately.
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aiyooo!! 24 pitter patterings on the floor?? woww.. nevermind.. later i send J to do the mopping! hahahaha..
*high fives* love to vacuum!! the easiest job in the world.. LOL!
Yeay.. I love to vacuum!!
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Hahahahah Shemah .. tulah. How to kilat like that!!! Send J soon ok ;)
hehe
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Hi Bobby, long time no see! Thanks so much for coming over and I am feeling better. In fact I felt a little better after writing this post, so that helped. Ah you are working way too hard Bobby, sounds like you need a break! Hugs! :)
Jean, thanks so much sweetie. Sometimes I just don’t understand what I did that was so wrong, I always try to be fair and put everyone ahead of me, but even when that’s not enough, that’s when the tears come out! :’(
Thank you Jean, your friendship and love mean so much to me. Hugs! :)
Jean, thanks for the BIG BIG HUGZ, love ya! :)
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Love n Hugs from Genie Princess!