Getting Over A Broken Heart

Just how do you do that?

A friend of mine, let's call him G, started his new year battling a bad case of break-up blues. Although he accepts substantial blame for the demise of his 8-month love affair, he's still feeling the harsh reality of a broken heart. When I met him today, he was at that self-loathing stage, wallowing in self-pity whilst reminiscing about their good old days, wistfully hoping to turn back time. He was a picture of pure misery!

Ages ago, I went through the ultimate bad break-up. The type that leaves you devastated, fearing a future without the ex. The kind of heartbreak that makes you dread waking up each morning, so you take emergency leave, refusing to face your colleagues and the whole world. You hate everything that reminds you of love and snap angrily when you see a lovey-dovey couple walking by. That type of break-up.

Anyway, what got me over my stupor was the company of truly great friends, who gave me the support and TLC I needed to get over the ex. They stopped me from moping around by making sure I got out of the house. They listened and nodded attentively when I shredded the ex to bits. Basically, they kept me busy and indulged me and my depression (thanks guys!). So I told G that what he needs right now is to be with friends, those who will share his sadness, despair, anger, depression and tears. Friends who are willing to just listen, completely understand and drown along in his sorrow.

G's only problem though is that all his bachelor buddies are hitched, engaged or heading that way. In other words, all of them are couples now, and most couples have a tendency to do couple things, mostly at home. The need to go clubbing often and seek excitement outside, gradually disappears as age catches up. Instead, we find solace and comfort in the warmth of our own love nest, doing what we like, when we want - together. So G's clubbing buddies are now busy doing couple things, which is why G is doubly depressed as it's also the end of an era for him. His bachelor social ring has suddenly dispersed, abandoning him in his darkest girlfriend-less hour. Despaired, he now sees no hope to settle down and join the rest of us in marital bliss!

As he poured his heart out, I could see G's genuine remorse at what he did or did not do, in his failed relationship. Perhaps he's beginning to realize that love is not all that simple. When it comes to matters of the heart, you really need to work at it, every day. Life is not just about thrills and more thrills. There comes a time, when one has to stop and seek beyond that, to find eternal bliss and security in love's company. The next time G falls in love, I hope he'll remember that. In the meantime, my friend is in dire need of some cheering up so it looks like my matchmaking days are back!