Saturday, January 06, 2007

Getting Over A Broken Heart

Just how do you do that?

A friend of mine, let's call him G, started his new year battling a bad case of break-up blues. Although he accepts substantial blame for the demise of his 8-month love affair, he's still feeling the harsh reality of a broken heart. When I met him today, he was at that self-loathing stage, wallowing in self-pity whilst reminiscing about their good old days, wistfully hoping to turn back time. He was a picture of pure misery!

Ages ago, I went through the ultimate bad break-up. The type that leaves you devastated, fearing a future without the ex. The kind of heartbreak that makes you dread waking up each morning, so you take emergency leave, refusing to face your colleagues and the whole world. You hate everything that reminds you of love and snap angrily when you see a lovey-dovey couple walking by. That type of break-up.

Anyway, what got me over my stupor was the company of truly great friends, who gave me the support and TLC I needed to get over the ex. They stopped me from moping around by making sure I got out of the house. They listened and nodded attentively when I shredded the ex to bits. Basically, they kept me busy and indulged me and my depression (thanks guys!). So I told G that what he needs right now is to be with friends, those who will share his sadness, despair, anger, depression and tears. Friends who are willing to just listen, completely understand and drown along in his sorrow.

G's only problem though is that all his bachelor buddies are hitched, engaged or heading that way. In other words, all of them are couples now, and most couples have a tendency to do couple things, mostly at home. The need to go clubbing often and seek excitement outside, gradually disappears as age catches up. Instead, we find solace and comfort in the warmth of our own love nest, doing what we like, when we want - together. So G's clubbing buddies are now busy doing couple things, which is why G is doubly depressed as it's also the end of an era for him. His bachelor social ring has suddenly dispersed, abandoning him in his darkest girlfriend-less hour. Despaired, he now sees no hope to settle down and join the rest of us in marital bliss!

As he poured his heart out, I could see G's genuine remorse at what he did or did not do, in his failed relationship. Perhaps he's beginning to realize that love is not all that simple. When it comes to matters of the heart, you really need to work at it, every day. Life is not just about thrills and more thrills. There comes a time, when one has to stop and seek beyond that, to find eternal bliss and security in love's company. The next time G falls in love, I hope he'll remember that. In the meantime, my friend is in dire need of some cheering up so it looks like my matchmaking days are back!


Unknown January 07, 2007 3:05 PM

U tend to shut the world out when u r dumped by yr partner. Good thing is there's friends and family to fall back to.

This a lesson in life. It's an experience so that the second (or next) time around comes, he/she'll be better prepared - appreciate and work on the relationship. Never take things for granted!!!

And what a lucky dude he is to have friends like marzie.

Mariuca January 07, 2007 7:02 PM

Helmy, true..good thing we're already settled down happily, well more or less. Every day is even more precious now!

Anonymous,  January 08, 2007 3:43 PM

The break-up might be the best thing that ever happened to him. His ex might be the be-all, end-all of his life but undoubtedly there is more love, even better love right around the corner. Tell G just that.

Mariuca January 08, 2007 4:01 PM

Emila, thanks for your comment, will definitely tell G that, although right now nothing seems to be going in his head except the fact that he's all alone!

Miss L January 09, 2007 3:27 PM

Just a suggestion... 8TV party is coming up right? Bring him along if you are going, so that he can be somewhat cheered up! Anyway Julia & I are going, so we can help cheer him up too, ha ha! (Please don't take this the wrong way though, because in my case, going to fun parties and concerts do make a difference, at least for short term basis!)

Mariuca January 10, 2007 1:59 PM

Wah wah, partying away this Ms. Independence! Have fun guys. Thanks for the advice.

MadZiZ January 29, 2007 11:48 PM

Hey hey hey....dis the fat Albert in the house. Hmm love reading your blog Mariuca. It so seems that the casinova x-player found his dreamgal huh? Well it was a long and winding 8 months he faced, somehow from the start it was rocky. Somehow, G has been down this path so many times and he always repeats the same o same o history. G should get back on his saddle, i think he will get back his struts soon......ce la vie bet you his stories of his recent adventures would bring excitement huh to you Mariuca??? LOL. *Winks* Anyhow....tell G age is nothing but a number but "the time has come" for his wild days to slow down, basically it is time for him to sow his oaths if you get what i mean. Chao......

Mariuca January 30, 2007 1:32 PM

Halmi, Are you referring to the "adventure" that I think you are? He he... Somehow, I don't think G will allow me to disclose his adventure, if you know what I mean? :)

Nizie January 31, 2007 8:41 PM

Dear Mariuca,

G will always will be G. That is our slogan to him. He already has a strong branding of himself. Yet i do believe, that he will find that special someone who will move his earth eternity. Not just a few months if you what I mean. Till then, G has a lot to learn about A woman for keeps!

Dont you think?

MadZiZ February 01, 2007 1:01 AM

Mariuca.....your friend G has so many adventures. Believe me when i say this "great minds, think alike" LOL *winks*. Cheers.

Mariuca February 07, 2007 3:46 AM

Nizie, I totally get what you mean! Hope G finds his soul mate soon though, too many heartbreaks is not good for anyone :)

Mariuca February 08, 2007 4:50 PM

Halmi, I have to say that G's endless string of adventures never cease to amaze me ;)

MadZiZ February 09, 2007 8:28 AM

Mariuca, his current craze da defunk diva so it seems is so unlike G. What has happened to him of late??? All i can say is set your priorities straight Mr. G especially with a new year, new upcoming job and here is the twist G "to a new commitment to finding your soulmate and SETTLING down". It's about time don't you think....LOL??

Mariuca February 09, 2007 2:35 PM

Halmi, look out for my next posting on this matter ;)

emilayusof September 27, 2008 10:50 PM

siap girlfriend G sekarang?

Mariuca September 27, 2008 10:55 PM

Ahem! Unfortunately still single, but dunno whether still searching, G pun dah fedup he he! :):):)

LadyJava September 28, 2008 2:15 AM

Wowwee. poor G.. I hope he gets back on the saddle least now he's wiser right??

From your comment above I guess your matchmaking did not work out??

Mariuca September 28, 2008 2:28 AM

He he, dunno la! Eh, I matchmake the fella many times oredi, still takde yg melekat!

G, if u're reading this, don get angry he he he! :):):)

LadyJava September 28, 2008 2:43 AM

oohh poor G.. takperlah nanti dah jodoh.. jumpa gak..

Jangan marah G.. senyum2 selalu k :) September 29, 2008 3:12 PM

Me and G are on the same boat..LOL...the different is that I just get my seat on the boat while G has been a year right... Hang on in there G..Your right one is still there searching too... :D

LadyJava September 29, 2008 8:50 PM

Same as you... call out to your rib's donor ya!!

Mariuca September 29, 2008 9:30 PM

G is happy-go-lucky, for sure he won get angry LJ! ;)

Mariuca September 29, 2008 9:31 PM

Awww Marvic, the first few months are the hardest kan? More hugs for u sweetie and I'm sure you will find your true love soon enough! :)::):)

emilayusof October 03, 2008 6:58 PM

apakata matchmake g dan marvic? hehehe....

LadyJava October 04, 2008 2:47 PM

Emila.. since I dun know both of them well.. I shall just be quiet here..heheh

emilayusof October 07, 2008 1:56 AM

hehe..tulah lj, you dengar jelah ek hehe

Elara October 12, 2008 6:03 PM

Someone I know is now in a dilemma between 2 guys! Takde bf susah, ada bf pun susah, bnyk choice lagi susah! Hehehe..

LadyJava October 12, 2008 11:20 PM

Jangan pilih pilih terpilih kaca instead of diamond sudah :(

Elara October 13, 2008 4:18 AM

Betul tu, LJ. Kesian dia sbb tak tau yg mana satu. I told her to focus on her studies and career dulu.

emilayusof October 21, 2008 4:32 PM

bf ni datang dan pergi

emilayusof October 21, 2008 4:32 PM

pergi dan datang...

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