Chances

What will be written here will not be read again, corrected or revised. It is after all the truth, and the truth always hurts.

She recalls the first time.

Two years ago

He stands in the waiting room.
He stares at her in utter amazement.
Later he tells her of the time he first set his eyes on her and how love walked in right then.
He says that it is love at first sight.
She believes him until today.

Together they are invincible.
Nothing matters but the two of them.
It's the two of them against the world. Their sole purpose...love.
With every look, the need to connect intensifies.

Then one day, he breaks the news.
He has to go. He doesn't want to leave but the choice isn't his to make.
The tears flow freely at the thought of being apart.
They cling to each other and to their dreams until the very last moment.
And then, the good-byes arrive.

A year after

Her mind wanders off to the incident last night.
He has returned.
Joy overcomes her as she longingly waits to be in his arms again. And then, he spoke.
His love is no longer strong. He wants out for he needs to share his love with another.
She remembers the words, the pain and disappointment, but always, she'll remember the look in his eyes.
The beautiful brown eyes she adores no longer look at her in pride.
Replaced with helplessness, she holds on to that memory for it'll be the last time she'll get to look into them.
She's willing to remain by the sidelines and wait until his love is solely hers.
She cries. She pleads. She hopes. But never will she accept his decision.

Her expressionless face is smudged with unwashed tears and pain.
Listlessly, she moves on.
Without destination, without hope, she automatically walks and finds her way home.
In the comforts of her room, she undresses.
Half walking, half crawling with eyes shut, she finds the soft, lumpy mattress of her unmade bed.
She curls up into a tiny ball, allowing sleep to overcome her.
Fatigue does not permit the tiniest of dreams to enter and she is lost...willingly.

Two years after

His name will remain with her always.
His face, his voice, his scent and oh the touch will not be forgotten.
Each turn she makes, her mind wanders back to what was once.
Reality sneaks in after a while.
Nonetheless, the comforting past drags her back repeatedly.
For she still refuses to accept reality.
It has come to a point where nothing else matters.
The emptiness he left behind has led her to be this way; unfeeling, painless, fearless, almost untouchable.
And she remains this way for the longest time.

His name forms softly on her lips.
It comforts her to know that she still recalls his name.
Numerous tries did not allow her to forget his name, not even for a moment.
She misses him terribly, each night praying for one last look, one last glance and one final touch.

Her wish remains unheard, until today.

Walking along by herself in the art gallery, she pauses to stare at a piece.
Magnificently captured, the overwhelming colours cry out for attention, touching her to the very soul.
Overcome with unexplained emotions, she swiftly turns around for she feels an unmistakable presence.
She stares in disbelief for he is standing behind her.
And standing tall he was with only a slight tinge of meekness.
Still as beautiful as ever, he was a work of perfection.
She cannot forgive herself for having such kind thoughts, even after all this time.

Slowly, cautiously he forms an uninvited smile.
Without understanding, she mirrors his smile with one of her own.
It's always exciting when something happens for the first time.
Her first smile in two years feels equally so.
Warm and cozy inside, she allows her smile to go a little bit broader.

A decision needs to be made.
Torn between two emotions, she ponders for a while.
She succumbs to the fear of being alone and helpless again.
She continues to stare once again into those wonderful brown eyes, and then she pauses.
Clearly shown in those treasure called eyes, she sees her pain and anguish, and almost immediately, everything tumbles back into place.
She shuts her eyes, simultaneously trying to shut out the memories of what it's like to be lost and in solitude.
The pain overcomes her, forcing her back to reality.
Smile still intact, she faces him and sees him take a step closer.
His sudden alteration in position frightens her and she takes a step back.
For the first time in two years, he sees her pain, her need and her desire.
Slowly her fears turn into tears.

His smile dissolves into emptiness and he makes a move as if to walk away.
She holds her stand contemplating on her next step.
Realizing that two years will turn into three, she decides almost instantly.
She pushes all other thoughts away and strides forward.

He is taken aback.
Never did he imagine she would dare be this close.
She walks on, stops right in front of him, halting his smile.
He looks helpless and sorry.

At any point in the last two years, she would have relented and forgiven him.
She wasn't given a chance then, but the chance awaits her now.
Her smile widens itself as she inches upon him; understanding what needs to be done.
Slowly and with utter grace she gives him one final glance and walks away.

He looks at her form slowly disappearing from sight, knowing now that walking away from her two years ago was a mistake.
He longs to explain and seek permission for a second prospect.
But gradually the realization dawns upon him.
He now knows that she gave him that chance for two long years and he never took it.
He now understands that finally, she’s taking that chance away...